I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
