wake up i wanna do it froggy style
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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