After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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