so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
