what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize