we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
