my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
