Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize