Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Randomize
