I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
