is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize