WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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