Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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