i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
