You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
