Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
