I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You're like the curious george of whores
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
