I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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