Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your cock deserves a montage
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
