I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
