I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
