I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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