There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
this is an emotional support booty call
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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