drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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