I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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