Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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