Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I deserve this hangover.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
