don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize