Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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