Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
