so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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