Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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