am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
