Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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