so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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