like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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