i don't like sucking hair
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
