Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
