i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize