There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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