I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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