i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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