my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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