I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
