its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
