If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
