Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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