im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
