Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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