I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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