Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
