This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
