Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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