I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
