Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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