Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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