literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dick very happy bro
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
