Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize