I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i think i just lost a toe
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
