Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
