margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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