this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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