we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
