Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
