Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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