How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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