i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You have to summon your inner elephant
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
