4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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