I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just saw a hot homeless man
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
