I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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