just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
