they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
