Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think people are normalizing furries
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize