is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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