Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
